Television commercials

Today, on television commercials, propositions are as scarce as unattractive people. The truth or falsity of an advertiser's claim is simply not an issue. A McDonald's commercial, for example, is not a series of testable, logically ordered assertions. It is a drama--a mythology, if you will--of beautiful & happy people selling, buying and eating hamburgers, and being driven to near ecstasy by their good fortune. No claim are made, except those the viewer projects onto or infers from the drama. One can like or dislike a television commercial, of course. But one cannot refute it.

What is advertsing's function ?

“Advertising is the modern substitute for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better.” 

 George Santayana

What we really mean....lol....

When we say: "A number of different approaches are being tried."

(We are still grasping at straws. )

"Customer satisfaction upon delivery is assured."

(We are so far behind schedule the customer should be happy

just to get it delivered. )

"Test results were extremely gratifying."

(We were so surprised that the stupid thing worked. )

"The entire concept will have to be abandoned."

(The only person who understood the thing, quit. )

"We'll look into it."

(Forget it! We have enough problems for now. )

"Please read and initial."

(Let's spread the responsibility around for the mistakes. )

"Rugged."

(Too heavy to lift! )

"Lightweight."

(Lighter than rugged. )

"Energy saving."

(When the power switch is off. )

What these advertising terms really mean? 2

FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does.

REDESIGNED - Previous flaws fixed - we hope.

DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had a big argument with distributor.

YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one to work.

BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a use for it.

MAINTENANCE FREE - Impossible to fix.

MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours.

SOLID-STATE - Heavy as hell.

HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it.

James Bond's new drink!!! Heineken

James Bond finally ditch his signature drink vodka martini for Heineken!!!! That's the hype from the new movie Skyfall !!! And guess how much Heineken paid for that honor? A reportedly one third of the movie's budget. WOW !!!! that's ALOT!!!!!

By the way what's the hpye with the Adele song? I thought it's great, it's like the other great 007 song from the past. Hated those in recent years, which sounded bad! The Spy who loves me, Diamonds are forever.... now those are wonderful!

Ever wonder what all those advertising terms really mean?

NEW - Different color from previous design.

ALL NEW - Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.

EXCLUSIVE - Imported product.

UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition.

FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments.

ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it.

IT'S HERE AT LAST - Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.

FIELD TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment.

HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit.

Chinese lifeguards in bikinis got pay rise!

Colleague ask me would I wear a bikini to work if I'm a life guard? What????? Even the babes in BayWatch dont do that!

......  Ok it's a water amusement park in Guangzhou china. They are willing to pay ladies 3 times the normal pay if they wear a bikini while working!!!! The excuse???? It's a good one! they believe that by wearing a lighter swim suit like a bikini, one can swim faster, therefore if anything do happen, wearing a bikini will enable the lifeguard to save lives better!!! Dont you just love it????

And What would Pamela Anderson think of this?...lol.....